Nana's funeral

Patty did a wonderful job with all the details involved in having Nana laid to rest. She had her dressed in a beautiful pant suit, something I'm sure Nana would have approved of. Nana was very prim and proper. In my 22 years with this family I don't recall a single time that Nana was not dressed to the 9's. Though I had no idea just how beautiful Nana was as a young woman until I saw the pictures of her in her youth.

Nana could have easily been a model in her day. There were so many pictures from Nana's lifetime that were brought together for a memorial Power Point presentation done at the church for her service today. As I said in my previous post I should have taken the time to get to know this woman. It seems she lived a remarkable life. It's perhaps a bit late now but I plan to find out more about her and the life Patty had growing up. I found a few pictures of my own with Nana and I'd like to share them....

I seized the opportunity for a picture with Bob and I all dressed up. It doesn't happen much for either of us and I'm sorry it takes this type of thing to get him dressed up but here we are! Ain't we cute?

Yeah some say we are the odd couple and yet we are the perfect match. You got to admit it isn't easy having a marriage survive this long and heck for old folks we held up purdy dang good wouldn't ya say?

The end has come

21 June 2005 19:56 EDT | Posted by wifeandmotherof4 The end has come
This morning Nana died, passed away, went on to a better place, departed this earth. Her pain is over and now the pain for all those she left behind will be difficult to shake. Nana was a strong woman. I never knew my grandparents so I truly don't have anything to compare her to.

I would see Nana at Christmas, we always had his family celebrations at her house. All the grandkids, their spouses and great grandkids would gather for wonderful food and catching up. Nana would always come to birthday celebrations until a few years back when the noise seemed to be too much for her and it was either too cold or too hot. Soon it was too much for her to continue with the Christmas celebration at her home. Not to mention the fact we had long since begun to over flow her house.

What with 4 grandchildren ( she has one other grandchild but she lives on the left coast and unable to come for these celebrations), 13 great grand children and 5 great, great grand children not many could handle this crowd. Especially when you count all the spouses, boyfriends and girlfriends the house was busting at the seems. We started using the church for our Christmas gatherings and Nana was not up to attending anymore.

Over the course of the last few days I've heard some wonderful stories about the woman that I guess I never took the time to get to know as well as I should have. She lived a glorious life for 87 years. I'm grateful God let her into his kingdom swiftly. I know none of us were prepared for her to go as soon as she did and yet I know it was best. She was able to die peacefully in her home with her loving family at her side. The coming days and months will be most difficult for her daughter Patty as she spent the last 2 years caring for her mother. I know that the days leading up to the funeral services will keep her busy and the true loss will come when that is over.

I pray that God will help her through this most difficult time and that God will give those family members the wisdom not to fly circles around Nana's belongings. I say this although I feel the vultures are ready to land and take what they feel is rightfully theirs. To them I say there is plenty of time to work out the details and now is not the time. I fear however that the shadow from the circling vultures has me running the opposite direction. I want nothing and yet I know Patty will not be able to stand up to the pressures soon bearing their weight on her.

Here is a picture of Nana at our wedding 21 and 1/2 years ago. This is the Nana I want to remember.

graduation day!

Graduation day!
Today Nickie graduated from middle school. She looked absolutely beautiful in her skirt and eyelet top. So grown up.

The ceremony was looooonnnnggg and I was so proud of not only Nickie's ability to sit there and attend but also with Brandon for being so well behaved.

It was awful the way many of the adults acted. Yelling names and making comments. Even after the principal gave a 3-4 minute speech on how the parents and adults in the audience should lead by example and please be dignified. The people sitting behind us were the loudest of the bunch. Yelling things constantly.


I gave Brandon a big hug and thanked him for behaving better than many of the adults. He just beamed with pride.


BTW, forgive the date stamp on the pictures above they should read 6/1/2005... I by passed setting the date and time stamp on my camera hoping that would prevent the time stamp from showing. Obviosly not. I guess I have to pull out the instruction manual to find out just how I disable that feature.

sad news
Thursday night Bob and I went to the hospital to visit with his Nana. She had been admitted to the hospital the morning before for severe bleeding from her mouth. A few days earlier Nana had surgery to remove a cancerous legion from her tongue. This was the second time that the area bled. This time she lost volumes of blood.

Wed. she was infused with 4 liters of blood. My mother in law. Patty, said Nana was in good spirits and believed that the next day she would be released from the hospital. On Thur. morning Nana awoke but was unresponsive. She wasn't able to speak, eat or drink. It seems that sometime during the night Nana had suffered a severe stroke. At first the nurses didn't let on to Patty that it was more than a mini stroke and they led her to believe Nana would snap out of it soon. Patty put her faith in them and prepared herself for the out patient surgery she had been scheduled for the following morning.

When Patty awoke from her surgery she asked to go upstairs to check on her mother. They agreed but insisted she must go home and rest from her surgery. Of course she never did. When she reached Nana's room plans were being made to release Nana for home with hospice care. HOSPICE, you know that word sounds nice and all but it took like 1.5 seconds to realize what that meant. Nana is dying. It had been some months since I had seen Nana last and I was shocked when today I went to her house to help Patty with the things that come second hand to me having had to deal with Nickie's care for so many years. I got my sister in law, Linda to help me turn Nana, change her, wash her up and lotion her down.

Nana's skin is transparent and paper thin. I was afraid I'd tear her skin just touching her. When I went to roll her over I could feel her ribs crunching under my fingers. She is so fragile. She is sleeping a lot and though she is not able to respond with her voice she is fully aware of what is going on around her. I informed her of every move I was about to make and I asked her if she was comfortable. Shee shook her head no and lifted her head off the pillows for me to adjust them for her. She has been with out food for a couple of days now and off the IV since she left the hospital yesterday.

It all seems so cruel not to give her food and water and yet with the massive stroke she had she is paralized in the face, mouth and most likely throat and trying to feed her anyting could easily cause her to suffer from asspiration pneumonia. A fate that would certainly speed up what is soon to come now. Patty had to sign a DNR at the hospital as the doctor explained anything else would be prolonging the inevitable. And with CPR would come crushed ribs and even more damage to her ailing heart.

I know just how difficult that must have been for her. Bob and I had to face that same choice when Nickie was only 4 months old. It is the most difficult thing we ever had to do. I pray I never have to be given that choice again.

Bob is right now at his Nana's sad and lonely because even though he is surrounded by his family I'm not there to help him through this. Don't think I'm cruel I'd be ther with him now if I could. Her house is not handicap accessible and lugging a several hundred pound chair up several steps is not something we are able to do. We have no nursing care and no one else to watch after her so here I sit while I long to be with him. Comforting him and letting him know its ok to cry.

15 June 2005 08:51 EDT | Posted by wifeandmotherof4

testing....
Lately, I've been on somewhat of a journey. Ever since a couple months back when I registered at the local community college. I decided to take in addition to the placement tests, the psychological testing as well. This testing only proved what I had only recently found out about myself. I had always considered myself a shy quiet person... OK not quiet but shy. I thought I was somewhat an introvert. In the last few years I learned I am an extrovert for the most part and the testing agreed with that. When I took my tests my husband came along and though he sat behind me quietly I asked him later if he felt I had answered most of the questions truthfully or if he saw me differently. I'm happy to report he agreed with not only the findings of the test but also that I chose the answers he felt best fit me also. The Myers-Briggs has me as an ESFP. I'm an extroverted sensing with feeling. I question the sensing part of that but I agree with the rest.
I'm an exuberant lover of life. I live in the moment and find enjoyment in people, food, clothes, animals, the natural world, and activities. I'm interested in people and new activities... Well, that certainly explains my love of blogs and reading about the lives of people I know nothing about. The results from this test has had me taking on line tests some very silly and yet they too seem to be accurate. Below are the results of a few of them.

Your Linguistic Profile:

70% General American English

20% Dixie

10% Yankee

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

I certainly thought I'd come up more Dixie than 20%, I guess I'm not as much a southern belle as I thought... Yeah OK I never thought of myself as a southern belle but I did think that to those of you not from the south I would at least have the southern speech ... It seems not as much as I thought.

Am I bewitching? according to www.tickle.com :

Lillie, your Sense of Humor makes you bewitching

So maybe you can't pull a rabbit out of your hat. It doesn't matter much since you never fail to make people laugh. That's right, you've got a fun personality and quick wit that makes you nothing less than magical.
Am I bewitching? So far everyone I shared these results with think the nail was hit right on the head. Here is the result:
It's no joke when we say that your funny bone is your most beguiling feature. But that's not to say that you don't have other alluring assets, too. You're a sweetheart who's always thinking about others, and your sense of humor in handling everything makes you stand out. So keep crafting clever remarks, witty comebacks, and silly stories. You're sure to attract many adoring fans and lots of laughs!

My subconscious mind: again from www.tickle.com :

Lillie, your subconscious mind is most preoccupied with issues around your family life

On a conscious level, you might already be aware that something is troubling you, or eating up a lot of time when it comes to your family relations. But it's also possible that family issues have been preoccupying your subconscious mind — leaving you with nothing more than a general sense that things just don't feel 100% right in your life though you can't quite figure out why.

You may feel slightly bothered by situations or relationships in your family, or you may find that your family just isn't fulfilling you in critical ways you desire. You also might find you spend a lot of time worrying, or thinking about your family members and their situations. You might feel that family issues take up a lot of your energy. Or maybe you're so frustrated with your situation that you avoid the topic all together.

Whichever feelings hold true, your test results indicate that right now, your subconscious mind is working overtime to resolve the issues confronting you in this area of your life — even if you don't feel aware of it.

What's my sense of Humor? Did I need a test to tell me this? I think not! Thanks to www.tickle.com :

Lillie, your sense of humor is Sarcasm

Oh yeah, you're really funny. (Actually you are, but you're so sarcastic that it's hard to tell when you're joking.) You mean what you say, but almost never say exactly what you mean. In fact you usually say the exact opposite. For instance, if your friend is wearing an ugly watch, you might tell them, "I wanted a watch like that once, but I got the wrong Happy Meal." Yep, there's a slight edge to your humor, but all you are really doing is telling it like it is, only like it's not.

Whether you're roasting a friend or playing social critic, your deadpan delivery and dry cynicism go a long way to expressing your true feelings...and making people laugh along the way.

OK, enough already...

Laws that are breed specific:
I know this is a topic that many disagree with me and I'm OK with that. Hate me if you must but I do believe that laws do need to be put in place to protect us from what has become obvious as breed specific problems.

Yes I'm more than aware that the problem begins with the breeders and or owners of certain breeds. I know that not each and every pit bull ( I'm aware this isn't the only breed ) is a threat to the general public. Unfortunately however, there are too many of them to say that it is an isolated problem. It's cruel the way this and similar breeds have been used for dog fights and turned into killing machines and I'm sorry for them I truly am very sorry.

I worry for the safety of my children more than anything else. I live in a neighborhood that I desperately want out of, for many reasons. The school district SUCKS. It's in the city and we long to live in the country with acreage, peace, quiet and the ability to see the stars at night. With the recent problems with pit bulls in Virginia, there have been many attacks and a couple of deaths due to those attacks, coupled with the fact that a large majority of the people that live in this neighborhood have one or more pit bulls, I'm worried about the safety of walking past my own fenced yard.

I don't dare take a stroll here without a baseball bat and certainly I wouldn't think of taking my children with me. God forbid something should happen to them. Now I know some of you will say it is not a fear I should worry with. I feel it is. I think its time has come for laws on breed specific dogs to be in place. I don't know what the laws should be exactly but I do believe that things like high fencing that would make it impossible for the animal to jump over should be in there somewhere. I also think that if a dog of any breed shows any signs of violent behavior it should be put down. It is unfortunate for the animal, however an animals life should never be valued above that of a human's life.
with that said below are pictures of my nonviolent breeds.

humiliation

Humiliation
I had a crazy start to my day. After getting Jackie off to school I returned home to prepare Bob and Shaun's lunches for a long day at work. Bob had asked me last night if I could meet him on the job site and he would have some samples of the lumber I needed to pick up for him and neither of us thought about my need for the address. She is a regular client of ours but I have never driven to her house myself and it has been years since I was last there. I kept trying to reach Bob on his cell phone but just couldn't get him to answer. So I tried contacting the client at home and at work but wasn't able to get her either. Finally I was able to get the address from the phone book did a map quest, printed it and off Brandon and I went to help Bob.
Brandon read the directions for me and got me there without a hitch. We picked up what we needed and headed to Goodwynn and sons lumber company to pick up the needed lumber. This took longer than I expected. Brandon must have circled the order desk about 50 times, drank water from the water fountain about 10 times and went to the bathroom once. Before we were all done I had to use the restroom too so I had Brandon wait in the women's room with me. Brandon looks at me and says, "Mom it is so humiliating for me to go into the women's bathroom!" I couldn't help but laugh to hear the work humiliating come from the mouth of a six year old. After I stopped laughing I asked Brandon what he knew of humiliation and he said nothing but that it was humiliating to go in there with me. I washed my hands and thought to myself I had to blog about my sons humiliation.
I didn't want to explain to him that life is full of disappointments and humiliations. It seems he is finding this out at an early age. I'm astounded daily by what this boy knows.

From Laziness......
Comes the mother of invention. Bob has been threatening to do this for sometime now but I kept hoping that this too should pass. Well this morning while preparing breakfast I heard a yell from the back door. "Hey, get Jackie and Brandon and come look!" This is what we saw!

Bob has been wanting a riding mower for some time. So he used what resources we had to make one of his own. I'm sure the neighbors got a laugh when they saw his contraption. He took Nickie's old motorized wheelchair and strapped the push mower to the back of the chair and drove the chair till the lawn was all done. Its a good thing I don't worry about what the neighbors or what anyone else is thinking otherwise I'd have to move from here. I laughed so hard especially when I heard the comment from Jackie that he embarrasses her. What can I say he made Brandon and I laugh and managed to embarrass Jackie all in one shot. Not that embarrassing a 17 year old girl is all that difficult to do. And all this was accomplished by 10 AM on a Sunday morning. If you wondered why I loved him, wonder no more!

No seafood festival

no seafood festival
Due to circumstances out of our control the seafood festival was not to be. I mean the festival was here we just weren't able to attend. When I found this out yesterday I was sulking cause I had my taste buds all set for some shrimp and honestly it gets old making plans and having them fall through over and over again. It seems the planets must align just so for us to have a simple date night. The nursing agency wasn't able to find any coverage for Nickie which meant I have 3 straight days without relief. It also means that on the only days that Bob has off and we could possibly go out together alone, without nursing care that just can't happen. We made the best of it and bought a new charcoal grill and some steaks. It wasn't shrimp but it was good. I will have to pick up some shrimp and fix up some spicy peel and eat shrimp here at home very soon. I'm trying real hard to be happy with my life as it is and for the most part I'm very happy. I just have those times when I feel like, this is my lot in life and nothing is ever going to change. I hate feeling that way and I know I should be thankful for everything I have, the good the bad and the ugly. For with out the bad I can't appreciate the good and with out the ugly I can't appreciate the beauty. When I remember I thank God for even the bad and the ugly and remind him I'd love to see more of the good. Something tells me I'm not praying correctly but I assure you my heart is in the right place

hot and humid

HOT and HUMID
This week has been so hot and terribly humid. The temperatures have been in the mid 90's all week with thunderstorms in the evenings. If I didn't know better I'd swear we were in Miami, FLA. Its only the beginning of June and my poor air conditioners have been working nonstop. I know I will cry when I receive the electric bill. Its times like this I think about moving up north somewhere but all I have to do is think about the cold and snow and I think OK, this heat isn't so bad. I'm looking forward to this weekends beer and seafood celebration downtown. I'm not a beer drinker but I am a seafood lover. I can't wait to dig into some shrimp, my absolute favorite.

Sometimes I wonder what the heck is going on in my head. All this school year I have been fully aware of the fact that my daughter is a junior in high school. All year I have thought that in the distant future she will be a senior. Not till yesterday did it dawn on me all the crap that goes with that move to being a senior.
Senior portraits have to be done this summer. WTF? Do you have any clue the sheer expense involved in this tradition? Well I guess the 4 years since my son went through this same thing allowed me to forget the horrors of it all. Yesterday when I received a senior photography studio flier it all came rushing back. I'm in no way prepared for the expense of not only the photography session, the choosing of photos etc., etc. I have to buy the child new stuff just for this event. I made the appointment for later this month and now I'm hyperventilating because what do you think happened this morning? Come on guess.

The freaking dryer decided to die. Yes DIE! The second time in about a year. I can't afford this shit. I'm struggling to make ends meet without the aid of the freaking appliances dying on me. I hate the thought of having to deal with the mountain of laundry I have weekly, shit let me rephrase that... the mountain of laundry I have daily. Going to a laundry mat is not something I enjoy and certainly not in this heat wave.

1 2 3... I will try counting to 10, sometimes it helps. Though I've yet to have that help me in the most important sense... Monetarily. 4 5 6...OK I'm feeling a little better. 7 8 9 and 10. If any of you can send me some good mojo, prayers, well wishes, whatever, I'd greatly appreciate it. I know there are worse things I've dealt with some of those already.

OK I will think again about the seafood...... ahhhhh . I will post about that monday.

thank you J-
My new friend J- directed me to resizing the pictures here. I can't thank you enough. I finally dragged myself away from the blogs long enough to play with Irfan to figure out how to do it. It was terribly simple I just never took the time to read it cause well it cut into my blog reading time. Now I will want to get out and snap some pics of this great town and blog about it. Thank you again J-

catch of the day!
Woo hoo! I went fishing yesterday and caught a ton of fish! OK, maybe not a ton but for my first true attempt at fishing I did a damn good job! Bob and I took the john boat out to do a bit of saltwater fishing. I've never much cared for fishing but over the last couple of weekends he has taken his dad and brother and they caught so many fish I said I'd give it a try myself.
So off we went and to my surprise there was little time to sit back and relax. I caught croakers and cat fish and not too shabby in size either. I couldn't believe how much fight a pounder sized fish had in it. I was exhausted and today upon waking I had some sore muscles in my arms. As you can see from the pic I'm a proud fisher mamma. After my arms rest up I'm sure I will want to go again. I have to confess something though... I'm a wimpy fisher woman, I don't bait my hook nor do I remove the fish. I just want to cast and real 'em in. Thankfully my dad-in-law wanted more fish cause I sure as H-E double toothpicks don't clean them suckers either!
I'm lucky to have a great hubby that by virtue of wanting my company will do the baiting and removing and even clean the fish. Gosh I love that man!

Happy Day!
I snagged free tickets to the CheapTrick concert in town! The local radio station here had their van at an intersection across town giving out free tickets to those that arrived before they all ran out and thankfully I got there early and snagged a couple.

Bob and I went to the first concert in OMG 2 decades! Shit, can you believe that? 20 freaking years! The band members though a bit older than I remember them rocked! I was up on my feet shaking that thang! Singing, I want you to want me! As well as their other big hits of my day. They had a great opening act! The Damnwells from Brooklyn, NY! Unfortunately the zoom on my digicam wasn't up to the challenge of taking pics that were clear enough. Otherwise I'd have posted some here for y'all. I tried to snap some of the opening act for my daughter I just knew she'd love the lead singer.... I know I thought he was a hottie and I'm sure I'm old enough to be the boys mother but you gotta say so when it is true? Am I right or am I RIGHT?! They had some great music too.

There are some great old bands appearing here this summer and I hope to see more of them. Lynard Skynard, Foreigner, Huey Lewis and the News, REO speedwagon just to name a few. I'm looking forward to making up for lost time and seeing as many of them as I can.