tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-117203232024-03-13T16:32:34.347-04:00Happily Ever AfterOK so I'm not always happy, though I strive to be. Here I tell about my not so exciting life, but the life I live with my handsome, loving and a little bit crazy husband, daughter and son. Yeah, I guess I'm a little nuts too! Somehow it all works out!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.comBlogger223125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-65415717078491052682014-02-25T04:44:00.002-05:002014-02-25T04:44:54.143-05:00One monthToday marks one month from the death of my daughter. One month of the longest days of my life. Bob and I are moving through our days trying to find our way. We continue to ask why,we continue to struggle to make sense of things. I look for a sign, a feeling , something that connects me to Nickie. Something that makes me feel like she is still with me, watching over me, guiding me. She is of course always in my heart and mind. I love and miss you Nickie.<div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-64114268616380291892014-02-17T04:36:00.001-05:002014-02-17T04:36:39.962-05:00What is the one thing you would change if you had the chance?I read at<a href="http://www.silentgriefsupport.com/2014/02/17/child-loss-if-i-could-change-one-thing-in-my-life/" target="_blank"> blog post</a> yesterday that asked that question.<br />
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First I would have to tell you what happened.<br />
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Today marks one month from the start of a chain of events that mark the worst days of my life. On January 17, 2014 my beautiful daughter Nickie had a cardiac and respiratory arrest. I was faced with having to perform CPR on my baby girl. It is a complete fog of a memory I wish I didn't see every time I close my eyes. I was able to revive her and we were escorted to the hospital in an ambulance. After every possible attempt was made and Nickie was placed on ice to help reduce the swelling of her brain, it was determined on 1/20/14 that she would never wake up again. Nickie had ceased being Nickie. Her brain had suffered excessive damage and we had to make the decision that no parent should ever have to make. We had to remove her from life support. We gathered all our family together on a day that should have been a joyous celebration, on 1/21/14 my husband and I were supposed to be celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary, instead we were gathered to take my daughter off of life support and begin to say goodbye. <br />
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We were all so fortunate to have been graced with having Nickie in our lives. Nickie taught all of us so much and touched so many people with her beautiful infectious smile, strong will to live and even when she was showing her frustrations and trying to push your buttons you just couldn't help but love her. After several grueling days of what was utter torture for our family Nickie went to be with the Lord on 1/25/14, I was fortunate to be there holding you in my arms as you took your last breath. It only seemed right I was there when you entered this life I had to be there when you left it. I have to remind myself daily that she is now in heaven with my father and her great grandmother where she no longer has the challenges she faced on earth. Up in heaven she is running free of her wheelchair and the physical and mental challenges she had here on earth. Somehow this does not comfort me as I would rather her be here with me. <br />
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The pain that I feel daily, hourly, is horrific. I miss her more everyday. <br />
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So if I could change one thing, it would be to change the events that lead to her tragic death. I wouldn't have left the house, I would have been more alert, I should have felt intuitively that something was wrong and prevented that chain of events. I know I can't do that even though I do it a million times a day in my head. Nickie I love and miss you so very much and I just don't know how to live this life without you. I'm going through the motions and I'm doing my best. Your daddy is suffering daily as are your sister and brothers. Again you are teaching us something new. We have always been Mommy and Daddy to 4 beautiful, unique and wonderful children. Being your mother was the most challenging thing I've ever done. I never would have known my calling was to be a nurse if I hadn't had you in my life. I never would have had the courage. I fought hard for 24 years to make sure the doctors, nurses, teachers and therapists provided you with the best care. I never understood why God felt I could handle the challenge but He did indeed know I could take that challenge and master it . I know I fell short at times ( I am human) but I would do it all over again. You molded me into the woman I grew up to be. I had to grow up very quickly when you came into this world and I hope you know how very much I loved and continue to love you. You were my angel on earth and now you have your wings and can fly. Watch over us Nickie. Show yourself to me when you can. I look for you everywhere.<br />
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RIP</div>
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9/12/90-1/25/14</div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-76305947146299282692014-01-03T15:11:00.001-05:002014-01-03T15:11:25.441-05:00New addition to our family!I'm happy to announce last night our first grandchild,<br />
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Sterling Brennan Dolan was born!</div>
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Isn't he just beautiful! It seems it was just yesterday my oldest son was born and now he has given us a beautiful, healthy, grandson. Here are the happy and proud grandparents! </div>
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Mimi and Papi!</div>
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The fun we are going to have! I will soon get to love on and spoil this little man and send him back to his mom and dad! </div>
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The proud Mom and Dad! </div>
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What a beautiful family! I can't believe how the last 1.5 years has changed our family. First our daughter Jackie brings Jason in as our son, Shaun brings Julie as our daughter and now Sterling as our first grandchild. In April Jackie is expecting her first child and in so little time we have added 4 family members! </div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-34853958851692218592013-06-05T21:27:00.001-04:002013-06-05T21:27:04.810-04:00Big news!I didn't think I would be saying this so soon... especially since I have yet to even post pics from my son Shaun's wedding. Guess who is gonna be a grandma! So much to do and so little time! The new year will make Bob and I grandparents!<div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-72643220586858957912013-01-01T11:39:00.001-05:002013-03-31T20:07:45.355-04:00Happy New Year!It was my intention to have posted the professional photos of Jackie's wedding. In my frustrations with blogger...I spent quite some time uploading the professional photos to this blog and when I hit publish.... nothing happened. So after several attempts I found myself going back to the beginning of my blog and reminiscing. It seems I have forgotten more than I remembered! I will be spending some time in my archives so as not to forget. But for now I am looking forward to this new year and all the possibilities! I wish you all the luck, joy, good health and happiness in your new year!<div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-25907882411221594972012-12-20T07:02:00.001-05:002012-12-20T07:02:10.426-05:00Blessings Yesterday, thanks to a good friend I realized the obvious. I am blessed to have a wonderful, loving husband (duh, right?), four great kids (duh again), a wonderfully rewarding career that touches many lives everyday and those lives touch and shape me daily and teaches me something new each day. Finally, I am surrounded with some of the most awesome friends and coworkers that lift me up and support me everyday! Thank you dear friend for clearing my head and my vision, I am truly blessed to have you in my life! <br />
Today I am looking forward to focusing my day on my son Brandon and seeing and spending some quality time with my daughter Jackie! We will be completing some last minute Christmas shopping and enjoying a much needed relaxing lunch! Tomorrow a wonderful day with my husband in Richmond with lunch at Bottoms Up!<br />
Merry Christmas to you all! My wish for you all, that you may be able to see the many blessings in your lives! <div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-42739683269577706712012-10-21T13:21:00.002-04:002012-10-21T13:21:21.932-04:00Jackie's bridal showerI<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Yesterday I helped the maid of honor throw a beautifully successful bridal shower for my daughter Jackie! We had so much fun with the shower games! The wedding is just nine days away! Today Jackie announced that she was using one of the gifts her dad and I gave her at the shower ceremony! Several months ago Bob and I went to a Native American festival and I found a beautiful framed Native American wedding poem. Jason and Jackie both loved it so much they are using it as their wedding vows! I knew when I found it all those months ago that they would love it for their decor but now it is actually incorporated into the ceremony I love that! <br />
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This is Jackie</div>
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Jackie and Amanda, maid of honor</div>
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That's me and my girl Jackie</div>
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3 generations that's Tia (my aunt) Me, Jackie and my mom </div>
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Stacey (brides maid), Jackie, Amanda, Stephanie (brides maid and Stacey's twin)</div>
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-85775832876692945792012-10-12T09:32:00.000-04:002012-10-12T09:32:08.669-04:00OverwhelmedMy daughter Jackie's wedding day is fast approaching and trying to get all the last minute things that need to be done is overwhelming me! I have less than 2 weeks before her bridal shower and I still have so much to do. Ten days after that is her wedding day! My beautiful daughter is going to be a wife. How the years have flown in the blink of an eye. Starting a new job at this hectic time has been a challenge along with returning to school, my cup runs over. Today I am off to pick up Brandon's suit for the wedding, alterations are complete! I must pick up items needed for the shower and try to finish purchasing the gifts I want for her. This requires a trip to the lingerie shop. I hope I can find something without a trip to <a href="http://www.priscillamccall.com/locations.cfm" target="_blank">Priscilla'</a>s not only do I find it difficult to walk in to that store but it is quite a drive from the sleepy town of Farmville. Alas I must do what I must! <div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-79773725578691169552012-09-27T20:29:00.001-04:002012-09-27T20:29:20.765-04:00New job!Just a quick note to about a new job! So happy to announce I am working in telemetry, medical, surgical once again! The staff has been so wonderfully welcoming! I am in the process of orientation to the hospital and begin my orientation to the floor next week! <div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-20225236754295156772012-05-09T07:44:00.002-04:002012-09-27T20:30:17.967-04:002 years as an RNWow! I truly can not believe it has been 2 years since graduating from RN school. I have had many ups and downs in this career choice and yet many more ups than downs. I doubted myself in the beginning much more than I should have. I have decided it is time to return to school for my BSN. It will be even more difficult this time around working full time and attending classes. However; I am determined! Here is to the next chapter!<div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-25263061690524733252012-05-09T07:38:00.001-04:002012-05-09T07:39:20.274-04:00For the ones always looking for bad things to happen(I worked on this last summer and early fall not able to share it at the time) <br />
This is for those of you that come here to read all the bad things that happen in my life. Over the last few years I've tried so very hard to stay positive, to thank God daily and try to remember that things will get better soon. Over the last 2 weeks this has been so very hard. Bob and I had planned a beautiful, fun vacation for our family in Myrtle Beach. We worked very hard to put together a vacation with a condo on the ocean front, days of fun filled activities for a week long vacation we have not had in many years.<br />
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Everything was coming together so smoothly we just knew this was going to be the best vacation we had ever had. Our drive down was peaceful with a stop at South of the Border. We had tons of fun trying on hats. <br />
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We continued our drive to our MB condo, unpacked and enjoyed a nice evening walk along the beach with Brandon. The following morning was Brandon's birthday. We had him pick a restaurant for the breakfast of his choice. He picked an awesome pancake house where he had a huge stack of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWtvXOpmO_A">banana pancakes </a>( just had to add Jack Johnson in on that topic) at the <a href="http://www.idine.com%20%20%3cdiv%20class=/" separator"="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qIOyQYl8TOc/TjWwaYljY2I/AAAAAAAAApY/wndL0tVDq7E/s1600/July%2B2011%2B067.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qIOyQYl8TOc/TjWwaYljY2I/AAAAAAAAApY/wndL0tVDq7E/s320/July%2B2011%2B067.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<a href="http://www.idine.com/details.htm?merchantId=61994">Golden Griddle Pancake house.</a><br />
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We returned to our condo to open up Brandon's birthday gifts, a Wii with a boat load of new games. <br />
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Bob and I left for <a href="http://www.bflanding.com/">Barefoot Landing</a> to find Bob some sunglasses. We had just found a pair when I received a phone call from Linda that she thinks she broke Nickie's left leg. Now I'm thinking to myself this can't be, she couldn't have done that, there has to be a mistake. Bob and I drive back to the condo and I take a look at Nickie's leg and though it looked bad I kept praying it was not broken. We drove the 13 miles to the Grand Strand Hospital (this took nearly 40 minutes). Fortunately we were seen quickly, unfortunately the x-rays showed a left femur fracture. This required surgery that this hospital could not perform. It was suggested we transport Nickie to the Medical University of South Carolina, a level one trauma unit, 90 miles away. Nickie was transported via ambulance with Linda as a passenger. Bob, Brandon and I had to return to the condo to pack up, it was late when we were done and with the suggestion from one of the hospital staff that we should wait till morning to make the 2.5 hour drive because some of the areas were questionable during daylight hours it was not advisable to drive at night.<br />
<br />
After Nickie's arrival, Linda called to say her surgery would take place the following morning. Her surgery was postponed for several days and to my surprise the reason was due to having 90 percent of the surgical staff away at a conference. Had this information been shared with us prior to transport we would have chosen to transport Nickie back to Richmond where her orthopedist could perform the much needed surgery. After several talks with the chief of orthopedic surgery we were finally able to have the surgery performed on Wed. The very special hardware that was necessary for this surgical repair had to be shipped from Colorado. Nickie was able to be discharged to home on Friday. It was a very long 9 hour drive home due to the need to stop frequently to provide pain management, position changes, etc. We finally made it home and in a couple of days Nickie runs a temp of 102 degrees. We had her assessed and found out she had an infection in the incision. It was determined that she would have to have another surgery to remove the infection. All I could think was Nickie has gone through so much why was this happening? She spends several days at the PICU at St. Mary's Hospital and has a PICC line inserted to battle the infection. She is discharged and goes home with the PICC line for many doses of IV antibiotics for several weeks. My baby girl suffers tremendously trying to fight this infection. Weeks turn into months before the infection is cleared and the Picc line removed. She has made a full recovery and praise God has returned to her old self! I must admit I lost my way and began to doubt in God during this time. Thanks to some wonderful friends with encouraging words I found my way back.<br />
<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-58041737692534718922012-04-01T20:43:00.001-04:002012-05-09T07:28:24.017-04:00It has been beautiful here in God's country! We had a mild winter that I can only describe as an extremely early spring! <div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-7237162602592525622012-04-01T20:31:00.000-04:002012-09-27T20:31:40.716-04:00Happy April Fools Day!It has been a wonderfully exciting start to spring here these last couple of weeks! Jackie set her wedding day in October of this year. Last week I went shopping with Jackie, her best friend Amanda and my mom. The mission was to find a beautiful wedding dress for Jackie, as well as a mother of the bride dress for myself and a dress for my Mom. I found not one but two beautiful dresses at Ross. One for the rehearsal dinner and one for the wedding. Mom was not so lucky but we will find one on our next shopping trip. Jackie found a beautiful dress and unbelievably her favorite dress was marked at a remarkably affordable price! Jackie has found the perfect location for the wedding, <a href="http://www.celebrationsva.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/116_116.jpg" target="_blank">Celebrations</a>. I can not be more proud of my beautiful girl! She has found a smart, loving young man that treats my girl with respect and equality.<div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-72727008927189157392011-11-02T23:05:00.000-04:002011-11-02T23:05:19.597-04:00It's been 5 months since my last postOK, that title just made me flash back to my Catholic Church upbringing and confessions.... but that is another story for another day. It is true what they say, that the years go faster the older we get. It is now officially more than one year in dialysis and it has indeed been a roller coaster ride! I must say I love, love, love working 3 days, off 6 or 7 days and work 3 days, have 1 or 2 days off and work 3 days and the cycle repeats. I now have so much quality time to spend with my family! <br />
I can't believe we are once again nearing the holiday season. I am flirting with having Thanksgiving at my house this year. If my schedule works as I've planned, I will do it. It has been a couple of years since I hosted last and it was so great to have the WHOLE family here. Bob and I are the only ones from his side of the family without grandchildren. I love seeing all the in-laws with their grand babies and catching up with the family I rarely get to see. I have recently been thinking that though I'm not in a rush to become a grandmother, I no longer fear becoming one. This thought got me to thinking just what I want my future grandchildren to call me. My mother is Abuelita or Ita for short, Bob's mother is Grandma and I don't think either fits me. So when the time comes I will have to pick up <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Call-Hoppa-Grandparents-Guide-Choosing/dp/0615194621/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1320288438&sr=1-1" target="_blank">this book</a>. I am kind of curious what name I will think fits me best. Anyway, what I was trying to get around to saying here is I can't believe how fast time is flying and that it is once again time to focus on Christmas. Last year was such a blur what with the new job and so little time off, with that said even though I have more time off this year I know the time will fly even faster and it is likely it will be months before I will return for an update. <br /><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-32119784360268560542011-06-25T17:39:00.002-04:002012-12-30T19:38:05.272-05:008 months I have officially passed the 8 month mark working in dialysis. Just 4 months ago I didn't think I would make it here. I also thought I would never like, much less begin to love this job. It is a stressful specialty as I've said before but I have found my comfort zone. It is wonderful the connections I have made with many of my patients.<br />
Just a few weeks ago one of my patient's (she is like the grandmother I never had) son passed from a long illness. She told me it would mean so much to her if I would go to the viewing. She went on to tell me how she has loved me since very shortly after I began working there. When Bob and I went to the viewing her family made a fuss over me and explained how, (let's call her Grandma B) she spoke of me often. It was so nice to know that what I do makes such a difference to my patients. Six months has made all the difference! Grandma B., said she saw my potential from the beginning. It is the little things that mean so much.<div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-8805250482047337282011-06-18T21:33:00.000-04:002011-06-18T21:33:37.773-04:00Happy Father's Day Dad! As father's day approaches I have of course been thinking of my Dad. Truly I think about him often, but today it has hit me really hard how much I miss him. More than anything I'm sorry that Brandon never had the opportunity to know him. I realize that the woman I am today is in great part due to my Dad. I am strong because he always told me I could do or be anything I wanted. I didn't believe him then. I didn't believe in myself. Today I know he was right. Today I also realize the difficulties he and my mother both had leaving everything they knew to leave communist Cuba to make a better life for themselves. They believed in the American dream and they found it here in Virginia.<br />
<br />
Dad worked very hard in a factory as did Mom to start their family. After 4 years of living in Virginia and working very hard I came to be. As a child and young teen I didn't understand just how hard they worked to provide me with a sound middle class up bringing. It's true I didn't have designer clothing, or live in an upscale neighborhood. What I did have was food on the table, clothes, records, stereo, my own room in a very nice brick rancher in a middle class neighborhood. I never wanted for anything that I didn't get. <br />
<br />
Dad always had great expectations of me. Sadly I don't think I met those expectations before Dad died. He never said that of course but I never felt I lived up to what he thought I should become. Maybe a doctor or lawyer or something like that. I do think he would be proud to know I did finally become an RN. I only wish I'd done it sooner so he could have been there at my graduation. I do feel that even after his death he is still with me. Dad and his words are still with me, "You have to do, what you have to do." Simple words that are so very true. <br />
<br />
I know in my heart that Dad is looking down and smiling on me and my family. I know one day I will be reunited with him and that gives me a great deal of comfort. Right now, I just miss him. I wish he were here for me to say these words to, though reality is I probably would not say them to him. It is much easier to tell this to strangers on the world wide web that it would have been to ever say them to Dad. Why is that? So Dad it is here in black and white that I type these words and I pray you can read them or know that I think them. Happy Father's Day Daddy, I love you and I miss you!<div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-34230809955829767372011-04-29T17:11:00.000-04:002011-04-29T17:11:41.096-04:00UPDATE on van fundingI was pleasantly surprised this week to find a check for $1,000 for the repairs on Nickie's van. The donor asked to remain anonymous even though I would love to shout the name from the roof tops, I will honor the request. We now have $1,300.00 from donors, towards the $5000.00 we need to add to our own $1,000.00 to have all the repairs on the van. I want to thank all our donors and a special thanks to our anonymous donor! God bless you all!<div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-12647354764974210672011-04-25T09:11:00.001-04:002011-05-02T10:38:51.038-04:00Change in funding goal!<a href="http://www.gofundme.com/accessible-van-for-Nickie">Goal to fund repairs to our accessible van.</a> I was able to find a mechanic that can replace the transmission, as well as a company to repair the lift hydraulics, regular maintenance to the lift and the leaking lift entry door seal for a total of $7,800 which is a much more reasonable goal than a new accessible mini-van or the original quotes I received of $15,500 to $18,950. We have $2,800 as our own personal goal to add to the GoFundMe goal we have of $5,000. We currently have saved $1,000 towards our personal goal. Please share the information on your blogs, Facebook, and Twitter. We can't do this without your help! Thanks<div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-32245816247664458572011-04-23T18:33:00.001-04:002011-04-23T18:36:17.095-04:00The SupernaturalToday I was catching up on some blog reading and decided to visit <a href="http://./"></a><a href="http://www.ulblog.org/2011/03/07/who-loves-ya-telly/">Murray's blog</a>. Murray has a wonderful way of telling a story. He isn't blogging as frequently or as in depth as he once did several years ago however I do enjoy his blog very much. I especially loved it when he would have a voice blog and I would get to hear that wonderful Australian accent of his!<br />
The above mentioned blog post had me thinking about the time when I was about 14 or 15 and I was in what was being used as a den back then in my mother's house. There was still blue shag carpeting from the original owners, a French Provincial style sofa with some gold pattern in it and my most cherished procession my stereo system. It was a very dreary day with bursts of pouring rain that slacked off to a drizzle. My mother wasn't feeling well and had gone to lay in bed. My father had left to see some friends and I was listening to my, I'm almost ashamed to say this, Shaun Cassidy album. I was playing the album rather loudly and singing at the top of my voice when I heard the side door entrance open and slam shut. I heard foot steps down the hall way to my mother's room. I turned the music down called out to my father and looked out the door of the den.<br />
There was no response, so I returned to the room turned the music back up and began to sing again. Several minutes passed when I again heard footsteps from the hall and the side entrance door open and slam shut again. I walked out of the room again calling for my father. I walked to the side door and looked to see if his car was in the driveway. I stood there a little confused and walked down the hall to mom's room. She was still resting but I asked her if dad had just come home and left? Her response has been something that has always bothered me. She replied, "No, but some man spoke to me in a language I could not understand, he walked into my room yelling at the top of his voice. When he was done he slapped me on my behind and left the room."<br />
I didn't understand how she could remain so calm. She said it wasn't the first time someone or something had contacted her like that. She explained that she had visits like that several times in her life. I am still not sure I believe it but I can't deny the things I heard. My immediate response to that situation was to drop to my knees and pray that God never let me have the ability to see or hear that sort of thing again. I never have at least not really. I have since met more people than I can count that truly believe. One wonderful acquaintance that believes I have the ability to have contact with the supernatural but because I asked God to protect me from that I do not see/hear them around me.<br />
I have like I'm sure so many of you have felt the hairs on the back of neck stand straight up for no apparent reason. I've sometimes felt a rush of wind pass me inside my house when there were no open windows or fans or logical explanation for that. I've seen out of the corner of my eye what looked like some sort of blurry something go by. I always explain it away as something in my eye or any excuse I can use to wish it away. Ultimately I pray to God that he not let me see, feel, or hear any such thing if it does exist and of course protect my family and I if there is indeed such a thing. <br />
What is it that you believe?<div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-52341196198716954772011-03-12T17:30:00.001-05:002011-04-25T09:14:33.562-04:00Happy and SadIn less than one month Jackie will be moving into her first apartment with her fiance Jason. I'm happy for them both and yet at the very same time I'm sad to see my girl go. Jackie has been a huge help to me while I was going to school to get my RN degree. She was a tremendous help with her brother Brandon. The last months since my graduation and her getting her first job and getting more independence has been bitter sweet for me.<br />
<br />
I'm happy that she is no longer afraid of the world and has in the last year gotten her driver's license, gotten a job and had Jason move in here with us. Though I know she is ready for this next step and I truly thought I would be ready as well, I'm learning I'm much more worried about her move and her future than she is. She will be moving to Richmond a full 1.5 hours from home. I know that isn't so far yet it seems like a million miles away.<br />
<br />
Shaun moved out years ago and somehow that wasn't difficult at all. He never was a Momma's boy, he was always such an independent young man. I'm not sure Jackie knows just how much I'm going to miss her or if she will even miss us at all. As much as it shames me to say this, I was so happy to leave home when I did I didn't miss home, mom or dad at all. Granted I was only a few minutes from home when Bob and I married and moved to our first apartment. Looking back now I'm not sure how I handled the sudden change. I'd never been away from home before and yet from the first day Bob and I began our lives together it never felt uncomfortable. Honestly it was as if we had been living together forever. It was the most natural experience. I'm sure it is just like that for Jackie and Jason. They do seem perfect for one another and I could not have picked a nicer young man for Jackie. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-IR9aZe3N7aU/TXvyrjmMSfI/AAAAAAAAAfI/9R42KAhXpE8/s1600/scan0001sm.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-IR9aZe3N7aU/TXvyrjmMSfI/AAAAAAAAAfI/9R42KAhXpE8/s320/scan0001sm.JPG" width="295" /></a></div>This change may be harder on me than anyone but I do wish them the very best and pray that God gives them the strength, knowledge and where-with-all to handle everything that comes their way. I also pray He gives me the strength to get through this change and the poise, knowledge and support that they will need from me. Yes as I type this tears are welling up into my eyes (sniffle, sniffle) thinking of how quickly the years have gone by and how my beautiful baby girl has grown into a beautiful young woman.<br />
<br />
Aren't they a beautiful couple! <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-YUO5-8oSZ84/TXvx9XcgwVI/AAAAAAAAAfE/5ZxsVVpkuZ8/s1600/scan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-YUO5-8oSZ84/TXvx9XcgwVI/AAAAAAAAAfE/5ZxsVVpkuZ8/s320/scan.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
The above photo is one of my father with Jackie in his arms and Shaun by his side. I can't believe how long ago that was.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-C5CzS4vKFRc/TXvy0Z6yxmI/AAAAAAAAAfM/SHtuML-Es1k/s1600/twins.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-C5CzS4vKFRc/TXvy0Z6yxmI/AAAAAAAAAfM/SHtuML-Es1k/s320/twins.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
And here I am with my girl. I'm so proud of her! Jackie, I love you more than you will ever know! I wish you and Jason the best the world has to offer!<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>UPDATE:</b> Change in plans Jackie and Jason will continue to live here at home until they both find jobs in the Richmond area. <div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-77601481720165800692011-02-12T07:29:00.000-05:002011-02-12T07:29:09.604-05:00Celebrations continue!In January Bob and I celebrated 27 years of marriage. We had an awesome weekend in Williamsburg! Time alone with the man I love, walking in the brisk night air after a romantic dinner at <a href="http://www.captaingeorges.com/FreshCatch.aspx">Captain Georges.</a> Last weekend was my birthday and my entire family was here celebrating with me. I have been so blessed. Bob and I are looking forward to several getaway weekends with Brandon and Nickie this year. So we are going later today to the RV expo to see if we can find an RV that works with a wheelchair. We think the "toy" carrying type might fit the bill. We may however decide to continue using hotels, condos or looking into time shares. Not sure just yet what is the best fit for us. We only know we want to enjoy as many weekends and vacation time that we have together. Making that happen when you have a wheelchair is complicated to say the least. I'd love feed back from those of you that have experience traveling with a motorized wheelchair. If you have done it with an RV tell me what you did to make it work. <div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-59710957193961467572010-11-11T07:40:00.000-05:002010-11-11T07:40:56.550-05:00Happy Veteran's DayI'd like to thank our veteran's for all that they do to secure our freedom and keep us safe. I also wanted to share the Red Skelton piece on the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZBTyTWOZCM">Pledge of Allegiance.</a> He explains it so well.<div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-59377237159461724792010-11-03T19:22:00.000-04:002010-11-03T19:22:23.403-04:00Nursing Is Not For Wimps!I've known for many years that I wanted to become a nurse, twenty years, to be exact. When everyone else in my family was afraid to learn what was needed to care for Nickie, there I was. I had many fears but I knew I had to overcome them to give my baby girl a chance to survive. In a few short weeks I became an expert on her care. Over the years I let my insecurities and the ups and downs of everyday life keep me from getting back on the road to nursing school. I must give thanks to God, my family and friends who reminded me daily that I could do it. <br />
<br />
Today I know without a doubt that nursing is my calling in life. I know I make a difference to my patients. I know that it won't be peaches and cream and I will have far more frustrations in this profession than not. I also know that one moment can erase all those frustrations. One hug from a patient, one smile, one gentle hand squeeze. When you can turn the light bulb on for a patient through education, those are the moments that make up for all the back breaking, every muscle aching, days. <br />
<br />
I'm going through my training for my new job in dialysis and there is so much to learn! It is a little overwhelming, but we have some awesome patients that encourage me, that look forward to my being there and if I can bring a little laughter with the care and kindness and education then we all have a better day! I hear dialysis is a tough specialty (I believe it!) and burn out occurs quickly (I can see that too!). I hope I will be able to see that in myself and get out before it affects the care I provide my patients. God willing it will be a place for me to hang my hat for a long while. If it turns out that is not the case, then I will take with me some wonderful experiences to the next job.<div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-70981642502936286722010-10-06T20:38:00.001-04:002010-10-07T18:35:07.345-04:00Exciting weeks since last post! Praise God! I passed the NCLEX-RN (state boards) with flying colors! I'm now officially a registered nurse! I have never been so scared of a test in all my life! The computer cut off on the minimum number of questions which can mean either I failed it royally or I passed it really well! It was the 3rd most agonizing 24 hours of my life. The 1st and 2nd both being times Nickie was so very sick in an ICU that we didn't know if she would survive. I had 2 interviews within the five days after passing the state boards and again I praise God for two job offers!<br />
<br />
Bob and I spent hours going over the pros and cons of both offers and I'm happy to announce I accepted a job in dialysis. I begin soon with five weeks of dialysis training in Roanoke. I'm excited about today and the future!<div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11720323.post-29495906648609364902010-09-24T21:04:00.001-04:002010-10-06T20:50:37.386-04:00Long summer, many trialsSo much has happened since graduation. Some wonderful, some very frightening. In May Nickie went to the prom with her boyfriend Ryan! It was awesome! The entire junior and senior class gave them a huge welcome to the prom! <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yOgxlJT1sw0/TK0YfwWUwJI/AAAAAAAAAOI/7-LtDaZ7O7A/s1600/dancing,+dancing,+dancing+she%27s+a+dancing+machine%21.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yOgxlJT1sw0/TK0YfwWUwJI/AAAAAAAAAOI/7-LtDaZ7O7A/s320/dancing,+dancing,+dancing+she%27s+a+dancing+machine%21.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Ryan and Nickie dancing!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yOgxlJT1sw0/TK0YtCX5a1I/AAAAAAAAAOM/wy0LXwITr-I/s1600/for+linda3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yOgxlJT1sw0/TK0YtCX5a1I/AAAAAAAAAOM/wy0LXwITr-I/s320/for+linda3.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Ryan, Linda (Nickie's nurse) and Nickie!<br />
<br />
Nickie gave us a big scare when she <a href="http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=2369">aspirated</a> a feeding and had to go the ER via ambulance to the local hospital. She was admitted to the ICU and long story short, they didn't listen to me or her nurse when we said that she needed to be on humidified air while ventilated. This caused extensive damage to her lungs and honestly there was a time there that we almost lost her. I wish I had requested a move to a more qualified hospital but I didn't and on the 4th day the Dr. suggested we move her to another better equipped ICU. She went to MCV and by the grace of God she is now fully recuperated. The staff at MCV was awesome! It was difficult having her so far from home but she was in the best hands there. I'm thankful she pulled through this and grateful for God's grace. With all the weeks of hospitalization and continued recovery at home testing for state boards was placed on the back burner. <br />
I'm happy to say I was finally able to do that yesterday and again by God's grace I can now say I'm officially a registered nurse! A job that was on the table at graduation may still be in sight.... more on that soon.<div class="blogger-post-footer">OCD, Obsessive compulsive disorder in children,
disabilities, arthrogryposis multiplex congentia
amyoplasia, nursing care, stay at home mom,
homeschooling, home schooling, Home school,
country living, small towns, photography, chat,
nigerian dwarf goats, chickens, 40 something, friends</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07765242932694625190noreply@blogger.com0