Wednesday, November 02, 2011

It's been 5 months since my last post

OK, that title just made me flash back to my Catholic Church upbringing and confessions.... but that is another story for another day.  It is true what they say, that the years go faster the older we get.  It is now officially more than one year in dialysis and it has indeed been a roller coaster ride!  I must say I love, love, love working 3 days, off 6 or 7 days and work 3 days, have 1 or 2 days off and work 3 days and the cycle repeats.  I now have so much quality time to spend with my family! 
I can't believe we are once again nearing the holiday season.  I am flirting with having Thanksgiving at my house this year.  If my schedule works as I've planned, I will do it.  It has been a couple of years since I hosted last and it was so great to have the WHOLE family here.  Bob and I are the only ones from his side of the family without grandchildren. I love seeing all the in-laws with their grand babies and catching up with the family I rarely get to see.  I have recently been thinking that though I'm not in a rush to become a grandmother, I no longer fear becoming one. This thought got me to thinking just what I want my future grandchildren to call me.  My mother is Abuelita or Ita for short, Bob's mother is Grandma and I don't think either fits me.  So when the time comes I will have to pick up this book.  I am kind of curious what name I will think fits me best.  Anyway, what I was trying to get around to saying here is I can't believe how fast time is flying and that it is once again time to focus on Christmas.  Last year was such a blur what with the new job and so little time off, with that said even though I have more time off this year I know the time will fly even faster and it is likely it will be months before I will return for an update. 

Saturday, June 25, 2011

8 months

     I have officially passed the 8 month mark working in dialysis.  Just 4 months ago I didn't think I would make it here.  I also thought I would never like, much less begin to love this job.  It is a stressful specialty as I've said before but I have found my comfort zone.  It is wonderful the connections I have made with many of my patients.
     Just a few weeks ago one of my patient's (she is like the grandmother I never had) son passed from a long illness.  She told me it would mean so much to her if I would go to the viewing.  She went on to tell me how she has loved me since very shortly after I began working there.  When Bob and I went to the viewing her family made a fuss over me and explained how, (let's call her Grandma B) she spoke of me often.  It was so nice to know that what I do makes such a difference to my patients.  Six months has made all the difference!  Grandma B., said she saw my potential from the beginning.  It is the little things that mean so much.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Happy Father's Day Dad!

     As father's day approaches I have of course been thinking of my Dad.  Truly I think about him often, but today it has hit me really hard how much I miss him. More than anything I'm sorry that Brandon never had the opportunity to know him.   I realize that the woman I am today is in great part due to my Dad.  I am strong because he always told me I could do or be anything I wanted.  I didn't believe him then.  I didn't believe in myself.  Today I know he was right.  Today I also realize the difficulties he and my mother both had leaving everything they knew to leave communist Cuba to make a better life for themselves.  They believed in the American dream and they found it here in Virginia.
     Dad worked very hard in a factory as did Mom to start their family.  After 4 years of living in Virginia and working very hard I came to be.  As a child and young teen I didn't understand just how hard they worked to provide me with a sound middle class up bringing.  It's true I didn't have designer clothing, or live in an upscale neighborhood.  What I did have was food on the table, clothes, records, stereo, my own room in a very nice brick rancher in a middle class neighborhood.  I never wanted for anything that I didn't get. 

     Dad always had great expectations of me.  Sadly I don't think I met those expectations before Dad died.  He never said that of course but I never felt I lived up to what he thought I should become.  Maybe a doctor or lawyer or something like that.  I do think he would be proud to know I did finally become an RN.  I only wish I'd done it sooner so he could have been there at my graduation.  I do feel that even after his death he is still with me.  Dad and his words are still with me, "You have to do, what you have to do."  Simple words that are so very true.

     I know in my heart that Dad is looking down and smiling on me and my family.  I know one day I will be reunited with him and that gives me a great deal of comfort.  Right now, I just miss him.   I wish he were here for me to say these words to, though reality is I probably would not say them to him.  It is much easier to tell this to strangers on the world wide web that it would have been to ever say them to Dad.  Why is that?  So Dad it is here in black and white that I type these words and I pray you can read them or know that I think them.  Happy Father's Day Daddy, I love you and I miss you!

Friday, April 29, 2011

UPDATE on van funding

I was pleasantly surprised this week to find a check for $1,000 for the repairs on Nickie's van.  The donor asked to remain anonymous even though I would love to shout the name from the roof tops, I will honor the request.  We now have $1,300.00 from donors, towards the $5000.00 we need to add to our own $1,000.00 to have all the repairs on the van.  I want to thank all our donors and a special thanks to our anonymous donor!  God bless you all!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Change in funding goal!

Goal to fund repairs to our accessible van.  I was able to find a mechanic that can replace the transmission, as well as a company to repair the lift hydraulics, regular maintenance to the lift and the leaking lift entry door seal for a total of $7,800  which is a much more reasonable goal than a new accessible mini-van or the original quotes I received of $15,500 to $18,950.  We have $2,800 as our own personal goal to add to the GoFundMe goal we have of $5,000.  We currently have saved $1,000 towards our personal goal.  Please share the information on your blogs, Facebook, and Twitter. We can't do this without your help!  Thanks

Saturday, April 23, 2011

The Supernatural

Today I was catching up on some blog reading and decided to visit Murray's blog.  Murray has a wonderful way of telling a story.  He isn't blogging as frequently or as in depth as he once did several years ago however I do enjoy his blog very much.  I especially loved it when he would have a voice blog and I would get to hear that wonderful Australian accent of his!
The above mentioned blog post had me thinking about the time when I was about 14 or 15 and I was in what was being used as a den back then in my mother's house.  There was still blue shag carpeting from the original owners, a French Provincial style sofa with some gold pattern in it and my most cherished procession  my stereo system. It was a very dreary day with bursts of pouring rain that slacked off to a drizzle. My mother wasn't feeling well and had gone to lay in bed.  My father had left to see some friends and I was listening to my, I'm almost ashamed to say this, Shaun Cassidy album.  I was playing the album rather loudly and singing at the top of my voice when I heard the side door entrance open and slam shut.  I heard foot steps down the hall way to my mother's room.  I turned the music down called out to my father and looked out the door of the den.
There was no response, so I returned to the room turned the music back up and began to sing again.  Several minutes passed when I again heard footsteps from the hall and the side entrance door open and slam shut again.  I walked out of the room again calling for my father.  I walked to the side door and looked to see if his car was in the driveway.  I stood there a little confused and walked down the hall to mom's room.  She was still resting but I asked her if dad had just come home and left?  Her response has been something that has always bothered me.  She replied, "No, but some man spoke to me in a language I could not understand, he  walked into my room yelling at the top of his voice.  When he was done he slapped me on my  behind and left the room."
I didn't understand how she could remain so calm.  She said it wasn't the first time someone or something had contacted her like that.  She explained that she had visits like that several times in her life.  I am still not sure I believe it but I can't deny the things I heard.  My immediate response to that situation was to drop to my knees and pray that God never let me have the ability to see or hear that sort of thing again.  I never have at least not really.  I have since met more people than I can count that truly believe.  One wonderful acquaintance that believes I have the ability to have contact with the supernatural but because I asked God to protect me from that I do not see/hear them around me.
I have like I'm sure so many of you have felt the hairs on the back of neck stand straight up for no apparent reason.  I've sometimes felt a rush of wind pass me inside my house when there were no open windows or fans or logical explanation for that.  I've seen out of the corner of my eye what looked like some sort of blurry something go by.  I always explain it away as something in my eye or any excuse I can use to wish it away.  Ultimately I pray to God that he not let me see, feel, or hear any such thing if it does exist and of course protect my family and I if there is indeed such a thing.
What is it that you believe?

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Happy and Sad

In less than one month Jackie will be moving into her first apartment with her fiance Jason.  I'm happy for them both and yet at the very same time I'm sad to see my girl go.  Jackie has been a huge help to me while I was going to school to get my RN degree.  She was a tremendous help with her brother Brandon.  The last months since my graduation and her getting her first job and getting more independence has been bitter sweet for me.

I'm happy that she is no longer afraid of the world and has in the last year gotten her driver's license, gotten a job and had Jason move in here with us.  Though I know she is ready for this next step and I truly thought I would be ready as well, I'm learning I'm much more worried about her move and her future than she is.  She will be moving to Richmond a full 1.5 hours from home.  I know that isn't so far yet it seems like a million miles away.

Shaun moved out years ago and somehow that wasn't difficult at all.  He never was a Momma's boy, he was always such an independent young man.  I'm not sure Jackie knows just how much I'm going to miss her or if she will even miss us at all.  As much as it shames me to say this, I was so happy to leave home when I did I didn't miss home, mom or dad at all.  Granted I was only a few minutes from home when Bob and I married and moved to our first apartment.  Looking back now I'm not sure how I handled the sudden change.  I'd never been away from home before and yet from the first day Bob and I began our lives together it never felt uncomfortable.  Honestly it was as if we had been living together forever.  It was the most natural experience.  I'm sure it is just like that for Jackie and Jason.  They do seem perfect for one another and I could not have picked a nicer young man for Jackie.

This change may be harder on me than anyone but I do wish them the very best and pray that God gives them the strength, knowledge and where-with-all to handle everything that comes their way. I also pray He gives me the strength to get through this change and the poise, knowledge and support that they will need from me.  Yes as I type this tears are welling up into my eyes (sniffle, sniffle)  thinking of how quickly the years have gone by and how my beautiful baby girl has grown into a beautiful young woman.

Aren't they a beautiful couple!

The above photo is one of my father with Jackie in his arms and Shaun by his side.  I can't believe how long ago that was.

And here I am with my girl.  I'm so proud of her!  Jackie, I love you more than you will ever know!  I wish you and Jason the best the world has to offer!

UPDATE:  Change in plans Jackie and Jason will continue to live here at home until they both find jobs in the Richmond area.  

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Celebrations continue!

In January Bob and I celebrated 27 years of marriage.  We had an awesome weekend in Williamsburg!  Time alone with the man I love, walking in the brisk night air after a romantic dinner at Captain Georges.  Last weekend was my birthday and my entire family was here celebrating with me.  I have been so blessed.  Bob and I are looking forward to several getaway weekends with Brandon and Nickie this year.  So we are going later today to the RV expo to see if we can find an RV that works with a wheelchair.  We think the "toy" carrying type might fit the bill.  We may however decide to continue using hotels, condos or looking into time shares.  Not sure just yet what is the best fit for us.  We only know we want to enjoy as many weekends and vacation time that we have together. Making that happen when you have a wheelchair is complicated to say the least.  I'd love feed back from those of you that have experience traveling with a motorized wheelchair.  If you have done it with an RV tell me what you did to make it work.